Sorry, Please - Manners and Etiquette

How I get my 12 year old to have better table manners?

I have a 12 year old daughter and I'd really like her to start eating more like a lady. She licks her fingers and eats with her fingers when she should be using utensils. Sometimes I feel like I spend the whole meal hounding her and correcting her- which isn't good either. How can I get her to have better table manners.

Public Comments

1. You must have done the same things at some point. Either that, or spends a lot of time with somebody else with bad table manners.
2. I don't know where you live, but here in South Florida we have an etiquette class, a school actually, of boys and girls who go through the course and at the end of it they all go out to tea at the breakers in Palm Beach to use the manners they have learned in the class. I suggest looking for an etiquette class near where you live or working with your daughter gently gently no yelling nothing harsh, and reward her by taking her out to the finest restaurant you can find and having her dress up and use her new table manners, that would be a good goal for her and when she is out in public she will be less inclined to use her fingers. When I was little we had books about the Goop family and that was part of our etiquette. Here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Goops-How-Be-Them-Inculcating/dp/155709392X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214005386&sr=8-1
3. Ask her if she thinks guys would find it attractive if they were to see her doing it. Say she is going to get lock-jaw if she keeps licking her fingers and doesn't start using her utensils.But ,Please do not keep hounding her.She will grow out of it in due time. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Same difference!
4. Sounds like you're too strict if you have to keep hounding her for a whole meal. Also, it's a bit sexist that you should think that girls have to be dainty, polite, and well-mannered and all that crap. Everyone has their own personality.
5. Invite some 7 year olds over for dinner and have her sit at the 'kiddie table" until she can show she knows how to eat with the adults.
6. well thats grose! honestly im a very girly girl so i personally believe i was born with it but some advice tell her i dont think any guy will want to ea with a slob but that will only work if ur girl is into boys yet....if not tell her shes not gonna have fun being a grungy slob at a important dinner or just tell her inless shes gonna learn she will eat alone! good luck and keep it mind you love her and want her to learn so be nice!
7. Video tape her and show her how she looks. It sounds kind of cruel, but she does not understand how rude it looks and sounds. Let her see the difference.
8. hmmm, you could videotape her, show her the video, and promise to UPLOAD IT TO YOUTUBE. or maybe not. You could ask her to 'set a good example' for the little kids. [if you have little kids]
9. Restaurants and some park districts often offer classes in table manners for kids your daughter's age. I enrolled my son in one when he was that age and it was a huge help! I just asked around until I found a restaurant that offered the class. It was great and well worth it! At 22 years old now, he still has great table manners! m